Well, it’s that time of year again. Everyone has been asking when will our faultless Horoscope be out and here it is. I got one call from a lady of an uncertain age wanting to know what month would be the best time to schedule her upcoming marriage. The same day her to be husband called and threatened me if I set a date. So not everyone is happy with my forecasts. So for better or worse here it is for 2010.
AQUARIUS--Waterman, Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
Lucky day Thursday--Unlucky day, any day that ends in day. Lucky number 70. Persons born under this sign are restless, indolent, economical, pleasing and agreeable. Greatest fault is they are perfect.
PISCES--Fishs, Feb. 19 to March 20
Lucky day Monday before noon--Unlucky day Monday afternoon. Lucky number 18. Person born under this sign are natural lovers, fickle, fruitful, easily led, honest, sensitive. Greatest fault is they are always behind in alimony payments.
ARIES--Ram, March 21 to April 20
Lucky day Thursday--Unlucky day Monday. Lucky number 0. Persons born under this sign are noted for their energy, push and executive ability. They are obstinate and independent. Greatest fault is they don’t make good mother-in-laws.
TAURUS--Bull, April 20 to May 21
No lucky day or number for this bunch. They should stay in bed all day. Persons born under this sign are fearless, kind, gentle, strong of mind and body. Greatest fault is not having a lucky day.
GEMINI--Twins, May 21 to June 21
Lucky day Friday--Unlucky day Sunday. Lucky number 2. Persons born under this sign usually have dual personalities. They are skilled at negotiations and crafty. Greatest fault is they make good politicians.
CANCER--Crab, June 21 to July 23
Lucky day Friday between 3 and 4 p.m. Unlucky day Monday. Lucky number 83. Persons born under this sign are endowed with strong determination, intuition and purpose. Greatest fault is they nag their husbands about taking out the trash.
LEO--Lion, July 23 to August 23
Lucky day Sunday. Unlucky day Tues., Lucky number 5. Persons born under this sign are faithful, courteous, brave and enthusiastic. Greatest fault is they keep bugging their neighbors to publish junk like this in his blog.
VIRGO--Virgin, August 23 to September 23
Lucky day Saturday night. Unlucky day Sunday. Lucky number 85. Persons born under this sign are systematic, loyal and generous. Greatest fault is they can’t say no.
LIBRA--Balance, Sept. 23 to Oct. 23
Lucky day Friday. Unlucky day Sat. Lucky number 63. Persons born under this sign are well-balanced, handsome, graceful, tasteful and make good blog columnist. Greatest fault is they are faultless.
SCORPIO--Scorpion, Oct. 23 to Nov. 22
Lucky day Tuesday, Unlucky day Monday. Lucky number .005. Persons born under this sign are self-controlled, courageous, polite and courteous. Greatest fault is they won’t keep the door shut and let to many flies in.
SAGITTARIUS--Archer,Nov. 22 to Dec. 22
Every day is lucky, expect Christmas Day. Lucky number is 3. Persons born under this sign are impulsive, honest, quick and fond of sports. Greatest fault is they never get birthday presents because they were born to close to Christmas Day.
CAPRICORN--Goat. Dec. 22 to Jan. 20
Lucky day is Friday the 13. Lucky number is 1040. Persons born under this sign are economical, careful, secretive, resourceful and usually make good IRS Agents. Greatest fault is they usually are IRS Agents.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Annual Christmas Card verse contest winner!
It’s that time of year to announce the winner of my annual “Best Christmas Card Verse Contest.” Every year I consider it my duty to search out a bit of pose that, in my opinion, sets the mood for the Holiday season.
Personally, I love to get Christmas Cards and I delight in reading their cute verses. I always keep a very accurate list of those who send me cards, so I can return the favor the next year. I firmly believe that if Longfellow or Shelley were alive today, they would be in Nashville writing songs or in New York City writing verses for greeting cards. I use to worry about how we would get rid of all the surplus wire coat hangers, but now there are so many Christmas cards sent each year, that someday we will have to send bundle them up and shoot them into space.
This year’s winning verse is longer than usual. Technically it’s not really a verse on a card, but was actually a typewritten sheet of paper inserted into the card sent to a dear friend. Also it might have been published elsewhere, but it is new to me:
MY CHRISTMAS BOOK
By Anonymous
There is a list of folks I know
All written in a book,
And every year at Christmas time
I go and take a look.
And that is when I realize that
These names are a part
Not of the book they’re written in
But of my very heart.
For each name stands for someone
Who has touched by life sometime,
And in that meeting they’ve become
The “Rhythm of the Rhyme.”
I really feel I am composed
Of each remembered name,
And while you may not be aware
Of feeling quite the same,
My life is so much better
Than it was before you came.
For once that you have known someone
The years cannot erase
The memory of a pleasant word
or of a friendly face.
So never think my Christmas cards
Are just a mere routine
Of names upon a list
Forgotten in between.
For when I send a Christmas card
That is addressed to you,
It is because you’re on that list
Of folks I’m indebted to.
And whether I’ve know you
for many years or few,
In some way you have had a part
In shaping things I do.
So every year when Christmas comes
I just realize anew
The biggest gift that God can give
Is knowing folks like you!
Now that the judging of this award is out of the way, I can concentrate on trying to remember what I did with the list of people who sent me cards last year.
Personally, I love to get Christmas Cards and I delight in reading their cute verses. I always keep a very accurate list of those who send me cards, so I can return the favor the next year. I firmly believe that if Longfellow or Shelley were alive today, they would be in Nashville writing songs or in New York City writing verses for greeting cards. I use to worry about how we would get rid of all the surplus wire coat hangers, but now there are so many Christmas cards sent each year, that someday we will have to send bundle them up and shoot them into space.
This year’s winning verse is longer than usual. Technically it’s not really a verse on a card, but was actually a typewritten sheet of paper inserted into the card sent to a dear friend. Also it might have been published elsewhere, but it is new to me:
MY CHRISTMAS BOOK
By Anonymous
There is a list of folks I know
All written in a book,
And every year at Christmas time
I go and take a look.
And that is when I realize that
These names are a part
Not of the book they’re written in
But of my very heart.
For each name stands for someone
Who has touched by life sometime,
And in that meeting they’ve become
The “Rhythm of the Rhyme.”
I really feel I am composed
Of each remembered name,
And while you may not be aware
Of feeling quite the same,
My life is so much better
Than it was before you came.
For once that you have known someone
The years cannot erase
The memory of a pleasant word
or of a friendly face.
So never think my Christmas cards
Are just a mere routine
Of names upon a list
Forgotten in between.
For when I send a Christmas card
That is addressed to you,
It is because you’re on that list
Of folks I’m indebted to.
And whether I’ve know you
for many years or few,
In some way you have had a part
In shaping things I do.
So every year when Christmas comes
I just realize anew
The biggest gift that God can give
Is knowing folks like you!
Now that the judging of this award is out of the way, I can concentrate on trying to remember what I did with the list of people who sent me cards last year.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Divining the Waters
Ask your friends if they’ve ever heard of rhabdomancy and chances are they will give you a blank stare. But if you mention water witching or divining, you’ll find a lot of folks know what you are talking about. The art of divining for water and other materials goes back to ancient times and no one knows just where it originated.
I have personally seen divining in action, and the best dowser (what we called them in Okla.), was my Grandpa Young on my mother’s side of the family. Most of the water wells in Maude, were located by him.
Grandpa was really good and he always said that a hazel stick was the only rod he used, but in a pinch a willow or peach rod would work. I’ve heard of dowsers who used welding rods, coat hangers or even buggy whips. However, Grandpa always said that natural material were best.
Before he started he would dip the end of the stick in water and grasp the two ends in his hands and start roaming over a likely area. After a while, if he was lucky, the butt-end of the stick would start bobbing up and down when he was over water. He claimed that he could always tell how far down the water was located by the shaking of the stick.
This ability to find water by means of a divining rod is a gift that only a few posses. It can’t be taught or acquired, but it sometimes runs in families. I’ve tried it several times , but I just don’t seem to have the talent.
No only water, but other things can be found by witching. Family legend (not verified, but a good story) has it that one time old Mr. Burton who made the best corn whiskey in Pottowatamine County and originally farmed the section next to our place in Maude, got sick and thought he was going to die. It seems that Mr. Burton wanted to ‘take it with him’, so before he went to the hospital he buried 50 gallons of his best vintage somewhere on his property for safe keeping. Well, lo and behold, he did up and die without telling anyone where he’d buried all that good stuff.
His son, Sid Burton, according to legend, offered Grandpa $5 to locate the whiskey. Grandpa said that he figured Mr. Burton was drunk when he buried his stash, so when he started witching, he concentrated on a 100-yard radius around Mr. Burton’s still.
Grandpa Young claimed that he located the whiskey in less that 30 minutes. He said what really helped him, was that he repeatedly dipped his stick in whiskey so he wouldn’t be bothered with water reading. Grandpa said he really hated to take Sid’s money, beings he was now an orphan, so he just settled for a gallon of whiskey. Grandpa was a teetotaler, so he gave the booze to Grandmother Young to use in her cold and rheumatism medicine.
I have personally seen divining in action, and the best dowser (what we called them in Okla.), was my Grandpa Young on my mother’s side of the family. Most of the water wells in Maude, were located by him.
Grandpa was really good and he always said that a hazel stick was the only rod he used, but in a pinch a willow or peach rod would work. I’ve heard of dowsers who used welding rods, coat hangers or even buggy whips. However, Grandpa always said that natural material were best.
Before he started he would dip the end of the stick in water and grasp the two ends in his hands and start roaming over a likely area. After a while, if he was lucky, the butt-end of the stick would start bobbing up and down when he was over water. He claimed that he could always tell how far down the water was located by the shaking of the stick.
This ability to find water by means of a divining rod is a gift that only a few posses. It can’t be taught or acquired, but it sometimes runs in families. I’ve tried it several times , but I just don’t seem to have the talent.
No only water, but other things can be found by witching. Family legend (not verified, but a good story) has it that one time old Mr. Burton who made the best corn whiskey in Pottowatamine County and originally farmed the section next to our place in Maude, got sick and thought he was going to die. It seems that Mr. Burton wanted to ‘take it with him’, so before he went to the hospital he buried 50 gallons of his best vintage somewhere on his property for safe keeping. Well, lo and behold, he did up and die without telling anyone where he’d buried all that good stuff.
His son, Sid Burton, according to legend, offered Grandpa $5 to locate the whiskey. Grandpa said that he figured Mr. Burton was drunk when he buried his stash, so when he started witching, he concentrated on a 100-yard radius around Mr. Burton’s still.
Grandpa Young claimed that he located the whiskey in less that 30 minutes. He said what really helped him, was that he repeatedly dipped his stick in whiskey so he wouldn’t be bothered with water reading. Grandpa said he really hated to take Sid’s money, beings he was now an orphan, so he just settled for a gallon of whiskey. Grandpa was a teetotaler, so he gave the booze to Grandmother Young to use in her cold and rheumatism medicine.
Monday, November 9, 2009
"Be kind to cvil Servant Month"
Well, we’ve survived another local election. I take my hat off to all the candidates, winners and losers. It takes a lot of guts to put yourself on the line and have your neighbors approve of you.
To celebrate the end of a another political season, I want to propose that the rest of this month be declared as: “Be kind to a civil servant month !” Everyone else has their month, and as far as know civil servants have been left out, so why not.
I also propose that we include paid government staffs in this proclamation. Be they city, county, state or federal. This later group has taken a lot of shots lately, they have been accused of everything from not teaching Johnny to read, to cheating on their golf scores.
To be fair and honest, improprieties by public servants do surface from time to time. However, a large part usually can be laid on understaffing or untrained personnel or uninformed elected officials. But, on the balance, these civil servants are guilty of far less infractions that their fellow citizens in the private sector.
One example of some of the good they do for society is while on the public payroll, they have made some important technological breakthrough. Just a few of those inventions or systems are:
• The CATscam. which enables doctors to diagnose cancer, brain disorders, and other diseases;
• Plastic wrap, used in covering food at stores and a home;
• Teflon, the non-stick coating found on many home cooking utensils;
• Plastic corneas, which have given eyesight back to thousands of people suffering from disease affecting their eyes;
• Solid state technology, which has brought us transistor radios and miniature TVs;
• Titanim, and other new, stronger, light metals;
• Advanced fishing nets, which allow fishermen to increase their catches by 30 percent;
• Lasers, which are being used for many varied things in medical science and etc.;
• The first computer;
• Power from nuclear fission’s;
• Many designs of commercial and military aircraft;Instrument landing systems used by airports all over the world.
Inventiveness by American’s public servants has helped to make our nation a world leader in industry, the military and agriculture.
So remember, the next time you criticize a DMV clerk or a receptionist at city hall, hold your tongue. He or she might be working on a cure for the common cold.
Therefore, by the power invested in me (by being a member of the fourth estate). I hereby proclaim the rest of this month as: “BE KIND TO A CIVIL SERVANT MONTH!”
To celebrate the end of a another political season, I want to propose that the rest of this month be declared as: “Be kind to a civil servant month !” Everyone else has their month, and as far as know civil servants have been left out, so why not.
I also propose that we include paid government staffs in this proclamation. Be they city, county, state or federal. This later group has taken a lot of shots lately, they have been accused of everything from not teaching Johnny to read, to cheating on their golf scores.
To be fair and honest, improprieties by public servants do surface from time to time. However, a large part usually can be laid on understaffing or untrained personnel or uninformed elected officials. But, on the balance, these civil servants are guilty of far less infractions that their fellow citizens in the private sector.
One example of some of the good they do for society is while on the public payroll, they have made some important technological breakthrough. Just a few of those inventions or systems are:
• The CATscam. which enables doctors to diagnose cancer, brain disorders, and other diseases;
• Plastic wrap, used in covering food at stores and a home;
• Teflon, the non-stick coating found on many home cooking utensils;
• Plastic corneas, which have given eyesight back to thousands of people suffering from disease affecting their eyes;
• Solid state technology, which has brought us transistor radios and miniature TVs;
• Titanim, and other new, stronger, light metals;
• Advanced fishing nets, which allow fishermen to increase their catches by 30 percent;
• Lasers, which are being used for many varied things in medical science and etc.;
• The first computer;
• Power from nuclear fission’s;
• Many designs of commercial and military aircraft;Instrument landing systems used by airports all over the world.
Inventiveness by American’s public servants has helped to make our nation a world leader in industry, the military and agriculture.
So remember, the next time you criticize a DMV clerk or a receptionist at city hall, hold your tongue. He or she might be working on a cure for the common cold.
Therefore, by the power invested in me (by being a member of the fourth estate). I hereby proclaim the rest of this month as: “BE KIND TO A CIVIL SERVANT MONTH!”
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Triskaidees still around
For us poor souls who have Triskaidees, (not a new type of AIDS, but fear of the number 13), 2009 was a good year. Only three months, January, February and this month, November, had a Friday the 13th.
Is our fear of the number 13 justified? Is there something, somewhere that makes this number unlucky? Have you ever been on an elevator and noticed that there is no 13th floor? Wanting to find out ‘just the facts’ I consulted that wealth of knowledge,”The Old Farmer’s Almanac.” What I found out still confuses me, but I’ll let you be the judge. For example:
Some 740,000 pounds of paper fluttered down around Charles Lindbergh during a ticker-tape parade in New York City on June 13, 1927. That was lucky for Lindy, but less lucky for New York City Street Sweepers.
On July 13, 1865, Horace Greeley said, “Go west, young man.” On July 13, 1881, Billy the Kid was shot dead in New Mexico. On July 13, 1930, the first TV broadcast was aired. Was that good luck or bad? It all depends of if you have watched "Spouse Swap" recently.
Francis Scott Key wrote The Star Spangled Banner, on Sept. 13, 1814 -- very good luck, unless you go to a baseball game where Rosanne Baar is schedule to sing it. On a Friday the 13, President Richard Nixon nominated Gerald Ford to replace Spiro Agnew as Vice President. That was lucky for Mr. Ford and who can say how lucky it was for President Nixon. All in all, Friday the 13th has a mixed record, historically speaking.
On the other hand, there are those who consider the number 13 quite lucky. For example in the old days, some theatrical people insisted on signing all contracts on the 13th. Also, in Great Britain, was considered lucky to eat Christmas pudding in 13 different home before New Years’ Day. It was supposed to bring good luck and prosperity in the New Year.
Former President Eisenhower was considered to be a very lucky general and politician. He was even made an honorary president of Missouri’s Lucky 13 Club, consisting of that state’s (at that time) 13 presidential electors. They even liked the fact that ‘Ike” Eisenhower has 13 letters.
In fact, the USA is so full of lucky 13ths that even the most superstitious politicians should put their minds at ease. There were 13 original colonies, and the Great Seal of the United States contains 13 stars, 13 bars, and an eagle with 13 tail feathers, holding 13 arrows and 13 olive branches. E Pluribus Unum even has 13 letters.
These success stories might calm some people, but us ‘Triskaidees’ are not so easily convinced. For example look at many-times presidential candidate Jessie Jackson. His name has 13 letters (count‘em), and you wouldn’t consider him real lucky at politics.
Is our fear of the number 13 justified? Is there something, somewhere that makes this number unlucky? Have you ever been on an elevator and noticed that there is no 13th floor? Wanting to find out ‘just the facts’ I consulted that wealth of knowledge,”The Old Farmer’s Almanac.” What I found out still confuses me, but I’ll let you be the judge. For example:
Some 740,000 pounds of paper fluttered down around Charles Lindbergh during a ticker-tape parade in New York City on June 13, 1927. That was lucky for Lindy, but less lucky for New York City Street Sweepers.
On July 13, 1865, Horace Greeley said, “Go west, young man.” On July 13, 1881, Billy the Kid was shot dead in New Mexico. On July 13, 1930, the first TV broadcast was aired. Was that good luck or bad? It all depends of if you have watched "Spouse Swap" recently.
Francis Scott Key wrote The Star Spangled Banner, on Sept. 13, 1814 -- very good luck, unless you go to a baseball game where Rosanne Baar is schedule to sing it. On a Friday the 13, President Richard Nixon nominated Gerald Ford to replace Spiro Agnew as Vice President. That was lucky for Mr. Ford and who can say how lucky it was for President Nixon. All in all, Friday the 13th has a mixed record, historically speaking.
On the other hand, there are those who consider the number 13 quite lucky. For example in the old days, some theatrical people insisted on signing all contracts on the 13th. Also, in Great Britain, was considered lucky to eat Christmas pudding in 13 different home before New Years’ Day. It was supposed to bring good luck and prosperity in the New Year.
Former President Eisenhower was considered to be a very lucky general and politician. He was even made an honorary president of Missouri’s Lucky 13 Club, consisting of that state’s (at that time) 13 presidential electors. They even liked the fact that ‘Ike” Eisenhower has 13 letters.
In fact, the USA is so full of lucky 13ths that even the most superstitious politicians should put their minds at ease. There were 13 original colonies, and the Great Seal of the United States contains 13 stars, 13 bars, and an eagle with 13 tail feathers, holding 13 arrows and 13 olive branches. E Pluribus Unum even has 13 letters.
These success stories might calm some people, but us ‘Triskaidees’ are not so easily convinced. For example look at many-times presidential candidate Jessie Jackson. His name has 13 letters (count‘em), and you wouldn’t consider him real lucky at politics.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Raffling Mules
Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily News Newspaper in Starkville, MS. and bought a mule for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night".
Curtis &Leroy replied, "Well, then just give us our money back. "The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule. "The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"
Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off. "The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis &Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.
"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?" They said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."Leroy said,"Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.
"The farmer said,"My Lord, didn't anyone complain?" Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."
Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.They're overseeing the Bailout Program.
Limit all US politicians to two terms.
One in office
One in prison
Illinois already does this!
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night".
Curtis &Leroy replied, "Well, then just give us our money back. "The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule. "The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"
Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off. "The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis &Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.
"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?" They said, "We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."Leroy said,"Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.
"The farmer said,"My Lord, didn't anyone complain?" Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."
Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.They're overseeing the Bailout Program.
Limit all US politicians to two terms.
One in office
One in prison
Illinois already does this!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Sleepless in Yucaipa
My neighbor Frederick and I share more than just a back fence. Both of us are free with advice to each other, and I have to admit that my advice is usually better. However, every once in a while he comes up with something worth passing on to my readers.
It all started last week when he was relating to me how he and his wife were in the habit of clipping interesting articles from the Daily Planet and taping them on their shared bathroom mirror.
He told me that with the best of intention, he happened to post this jewel from ‘Dear Abby” or someone, which ended with “Most wives don’t look like Sharon Stone, so make the best of what you have . . . flirt with him like you suspect his secretary does . . . he’ll love it! -- Happy in Little Rock.”
Frederick said nothing happen for days and then one morning he found a clipping taped on the mirror that read: “My husband raises the dead with his snoring. I’ve read that heavy snorers can endanger their health. Will anything stop this constant sleep noise? -- Separate Rooms in Tulsa.”
I knew Frederick needed help, so I could hardly wait to tell him about this doctor I saw on Oprah that dealt with this very problem. The doctor pointed out that there are generally no ill effects from snoring. Unless you are suffering from sleep apnea, a condition in which sleepers can stop breathing for as long as two minutes.
Indirect effects are another matter said the doctor. He cited this guy who came home late from a Moose Lodge meeting. he was slightly intoxicated and managed to get undressed and into bed without waking his wife. Later his snoring woke her up, she smelled booze on his breath and hit him with a flower pot. The doctor said this was one example of indirect effect.
The doctor went on to say that more than 400 anti-snoring devices have been patented -- everything from gags to nose straps. Hypnotism, acupuncture and magic spells have been tried. He said the Japanese have perfected the most successful surgery -- its called Uvulopalaopasty, and its very expensive. But, the doctors said, if you can’t afford the surgery there is hope because everyone snores, actors, politicians, the rich and the poor. Some of the more famous snorers are Winston Churchill and Jessie Jackson.
Two days later I asked Frederick if any of my information helped his cause. He told me that he pointed out to his wife that he was in a good crowd of snorers. Even Former President Bill Clinton snored and Hillary never made him sleep in the Oval Office. She commended back to him that Hillary had to handle her own problems.
Later Frederick said they went to bed, his wife fell asleep immediately and he finally dozed off trying not to snore. The next morning she was gone, her blanket was gone, and he was nearly frozen. He later found a note taped on his side of the mirror that said. “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.”
It all started last week when he was relating to me how he and his wife were in the habit of clipping interesting articles from the Daily Planet and taping them on their shared bathroom mirror.
He told me that with the best of intention, he happened to post this jewel from ‘Dear Abby” or someone, which ended with “Most wives don’t look like Sharon Stone, so make the best of what you have . . . flirt with him like you suspect his secretary does . . . he’ll love it! -- Happy in Little Rock.”
Frederick said nothing happen for days and then one morning he found a clipping taped on the mirror that read: “My husband raises the dead with his snoring. I’ve read that heavy snorers can endanger their health. Will anything stop this constant sleep noise? -- Separate Rooms in Tulsa.”
I knew Frederick needed help, so I could hardly wait to tell him about this doctor I saw on Oprah that dealt with this very problem. The doctor pointed out that there are generally no ill effects from snoring. Unless you are suffering from sleep apnea, a condition in which sleepers can stop breathing for as long as two minutes.
Indirect effects are another matter said the doctor. He cited this guy who came home late from a Moose Lodge meeting. he was slightly intoxicated and managed to get undressed and into bed without waking his wife. Later his snoring woke her up, she smelled booze on his breath and hit him with a flower pot. The doctor said this was one example of indirect effect.
The doctor went on to say that more than 400 anti-snoring devices have been patented -- everything from gags to nose straps. Hypnotism, acupuncture and magic spells have been tried. He said the Japanese have perfected the most successful surgery -- its called Uvulopalaopasty, and its very expensive. But, the doctors said, if you can’t afford the surgery there is hope because everyone snores, actors, politicians, the rich and the poor. Some of the more famous snorers are Winston Churchill and Jessie Jackson.
Two days later I asked Frederick if any of my information helped his cause. He told me that he pointed out to his wife that he was in a good crowd of snorers. Even Former President Bill Clinton snored and Hillary never made him sleep in the Oval Office. She commended back to him that Hillary had to handle her own problems.
Later Frederick said they went to bed, his wife fell asleep immediately and he finally dozed off trying not to snore. The next morning she was gone, her blanket was gone, and he was nearly frozen. He later found a note taped on his side of the mirror that said. “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.”
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